hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
