i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize