dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
