That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
