I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Never joke about your clitoris.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
