On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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