he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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