Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
