ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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