I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
