The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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