I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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