I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
