idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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