i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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