U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
