everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
