i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
