Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
