I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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