if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize