I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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