If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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