Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
