Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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