Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
