she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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