And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
