Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
