hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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