I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
