they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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