I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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