sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
