she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His nipple licking is glorious
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