i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
