why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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