very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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