it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
