You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
