carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
the raccoons are back...
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