The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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