How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
