if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ketchup is God's man juice
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
