I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
