someone threw a dead crab at me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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