We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
