The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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