After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
