I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She's like a pop up book from hell.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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