you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bring me that man meat
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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