What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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