Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
