But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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