I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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