she woke up with a sticky ear
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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