never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize