She's JV to your varsity
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
