he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
