sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I could fuck to npr.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
